An inevitable move is approaching. A vampire can’t keep their head down forever. Except on a sunny day. But this is Britain, after all, so… no…
Taking a break from keeping the heads down, the hubster and I decided that, given that there’s not a blue moon due any time soon, we would throw caution to the wind and socialise. The operative word here is caution. On so many levels. We went bowling.
Yes.
Bowling.
Essentially throwing a heavy lump of plastic at a bunch of other bits of plastic (or wood – not sure which), hoping that they’ll connect and fall over. So then, the opposite of what we all try to do in our daily lives – which is not knock things over. I mean, since we’re first able to walk around by ourselves, our parents and well-meaning adults move everything possible out of our way so we don’t knock everything over. For years, it’s
“Be careful!”
“Look where you’re going!”
“Watch out for that [object]!”
“Mind you don’t knock [item] over!”
And then you find yourself in a bowling alley in rented shoes, and suddenly you’re let loose with a load of deadly balls and told to go nuts.
What?!
As we all know, knocking a few things over is usually annoying. Case in point: there’s a whole bunch of YouTube videos about cats knocking things over and I don’t hear anybody congratulating the little furballs…
And what is it about bowling that suddenly makes it alright to do strange little dances? Who does that in everyday life?!
“I just put the milk back in the fridge… oh yeah ah-ha.” [does an elaborate wiggle/fist-pumping combo]
“I’ve just done the washing up and I’m doing the robot.”
Well, if you get excited over doing the washing up then it’s because of one of two things :
one – you’re extremely easy to please or…
two – dinner around your house must be an adventure because if washing-up is such a big thing then… yikes?
(You know I’m joking!)
And those shoes… Yes… they say you don’t know someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. Well, a good thousand or so people had probably worn those shoes before me, and I still don’t have a clue about any of them.
Okay, so I didn’t walk a mile in them. It just felt like it. Okay, I didn’t walk at all. I may have tottered, strolled, skipped (slightly), skidded and occasionally ended up on my backside in them, but that’s besides the point.
I also saw a sign in the same place for a silent disco. So how does that work? I mean, yes, I know how it works, but it got me wondering… what happens if you go to a silent disco with someone you like and they want to make a move?
What happens when they want to listen to something really smoochy and you just want to listen to Uptown Funk?!
I reckon there’s going to be a whole load of mixed messages going on right there…
And the potential for a whole load more YouTube videos.
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You know it makes sense.
The Everyday Vampire 