Be warned, there’s something in here that may be genuinely distressing to anyone with even half a heart. Doubly so if you love dogs. But there’s also some funny things too, so, it’s all good. Read on.
So, we’ve had our rescue fur-baby a couple of months now. We’re still trying to untangle that mangled little mess that lives inside her head. We don’t know much about her. We know she’s an older dog. We know someone has been nice to her at some point. We also know that someone (or someones) hasn’t.
How?
Sadly, by her physical scars. And, even more sadly, by the psychological scars that little by little, she’s allowing us to see.
One example.
A training clicker.
The sound terrified her the first (and only) time we tried to use one. We were mystified. My hyper-perceptive vampiric sleuthiness (it’s a thing) was stumped. And then the penny dropped some time later. The sound is identical to a cigarette lighter. Now put that together with some of her smaller scars and…
Well…
If I ever meet the ones who did that to such a gentle, loving animal (or any animal), then my ‘no-biting-humans’ rule may become more of a guideline.
But in the meantime…
She’s sprawled out on her favourite (for she has many) fleecy throw, snoring and farting away to her little heart’s content. She’s still in that ‘can’t-quite-believe-it’s-real’ phase and gets really panicky if she does something wrong. Our hugs and reassurance still puzzle her.
We are now dealing with some separation anxiety issues. Which, to me, is a good thing. It means that she’s now attached to us. It means she trusts us (as does the sitting on my foot with her back to me). But she’s getting over them. She knows we’re definitely Team Fur-baby now.
We’ve learned this about her:
- She hates puddles and getting wet
- She already knows ‘high-five’, ‘shake hands’, ‘roll over’ and – bizarrely- how to cross the road safely (!)
- She learns very quickly
- She pulls like a train and loves her rope toys (if you have a dislocated shoulder, she could easily reset it for you. However, if there’s someone you don’t like and wish they had a dislocated shoulder, it wouldn’t work. She’d just call 999/911. She’s about bright enough to.)
- She can be hyper focused, but also easily distracted (ha! she takes after me!)
- She’s obsessed with food. Especially chicken (nope. Not me. Well, the chicken part.)
- Even more than being given food, she loves finding it herself.
ME: I’m just going out, Pup, I’ll be gone ten minutes.
DOG: No! Pleeeeeease! Don’t go!
And then, when faced with a puzzle ball containing treats…
ME: I’m just going out, Pup, I’ll be gone ten minutes.
DOG: (30 minutes later) Nom-nom-nom. Did somebody say something? Nom-nom-nom.
She’s also very communicative. She lets you know in no uncertain terms what she wants. And doesn’t want!
Do parents of small human children have this problem?
DOG: I wanna go out for a walk.
ME: Okay, let’s get your harness and lead and everything on and you can go out.
DOG: Don’t wanna.
ME: Then you can’t go out for walk.
Five minutes later…
DOG: I wanna go out for a walk.
ME: Then we’re putting your lead and everything on.
DOG: Nope. Nuh-uh. No way.
ME: You know the rules.
DOG: (grumbling) Pfft. Ohhh, alright then.
Gets harness and everything on (with much muttering on her part).
DOG: Don’t wanna go now. Spoilt my fun.
ME: Oh, we are going now!
10 minutes later…
DOG: Woweeee! This is the best day ever!
And nearly an hour later, after lots of (shall we say) negotiation as to route, we get back. I’ve enjoyed the fresh air. She’s enjoyed the stretching-her-legs. And the sniffing. There’s always lots of sniffing. Grass verges are like Facebook for dogs. “Hmm. Nice post. Just leaving a comment…” We’ve both enjoyed the exercise. She is nicely worn out.
So what does she do next?
Run around the house like a thing possessed and then charges out like a mad fool into the garden.
Surely she can’t still have some reserves of energy in that little furry body? Have I not walked her enough?
Nope.
She is simply running out to survey her kingdom. For she is… Wonder Pooch! There she stands: ears up, tail up, right paw up, in full-on protection / surveillance mode. Have there been any threats to the kingdom in her absence? Any pretenders to her throne? Any evil crows, seagulls or (heaven forbid!) cats with a wicked design to overthrow her benevolent rule? Are there any individuals (regardless of number of legs) who have dared trespass upon her property to upset those under her kindly protection?
Nope.
Okay, all good.
And she trots back into the house again.
She plonks herself in front of the fire and gets back to one of her favourite jobs – destroying her rope toy.
All’s well with the world. I have protected you another day, my beloved hoomans. Chomp chomp chomp.
The Everyday Vampire 